I've made an important discovery since submitting my story to Harlequin two weeks ago. It will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me that I've let self-doubt keep me from pursuing publication. Now that I have the time to devote to my writing, I'm working on overcoming that obstacle.
Part of what's held me back is the traditional fear of failing. We all know how that one goes. If you don't try, you haven't really failed. You haven't stepped up to the plate and been told you just didn't have what it takes.
I finally pushed past that fear and submitted my story. Like many other writers, I'm now in the position of waiting to hear back from a publisher. Waiting to hear whether they are interested in publishing my story. However, unlike other writers I'm not stalking my email, waiting for a response.
Quite the opposite, in fact.
I find myself not thinking about my submission at all. When I do remember it, I have to force myself to open Outlook to check my email. And despite what many might think, I'm not afraid that my story will be rejected. I know it's a good story, but I also know good stories are rejected all the time. Just not right for that line. They've purchased too many stories set in the regency era recently and want something different. Too similar to a story they've just purchased.
No, I find myself more afraid that Harlequin will want to buy my story. After all these years, I've realized I'm not afraid of failing. I'm afraid of succeeding.
Sigh. I know it's not logical, but fears seldom conform to logic. I found an article about fear of success for writers that confirmed my new discovery. For others who may also be dealing with this fear, you can find that article here.
I suppose the good news is now that I've identified my true stumbling blocks I can work on overcoming them. One day, and one fear at a time.
