First submission of the year

Yesterday I submitted the story I'd written for the Harlequin Historical Undone line. I went through the story several times after completing the edits and each time I read it I would find something to tweak. I'd touch up a sentence here, make a word change there. And of course there was that typo I found right before I was about to submit it. I could have held onto that story and read it again and again, and I'm sure each time I would have found something to fix. I loved writing the story. I loved the characters and thought they suited each other well. It was time, though, to send the story off into the world to fend for itself.

What will I do now? Well, I'll tell you what I won't do. I won't be sitting on my hands waiting to hear back from Harlequin. The novel I finished before Christmas has sat for long enough that I can now come to it with fresh eyes. I'm starting the edits for that book and already have an idea for my next book. I'm not sure if I can write a new book while editing another one, but I will definitely work on the outline for it (yes, I'm a plotter.)

I was a little nervous when I hit the send button for my email submission, but the predominant emotion I felt was happiness. Contentment. I felt like a "real" writer. My story may not sell, but I feel that I am finally on the right path. And until I do make that first sale, I'm having one hell of a ride enjoying all these amazing characters who are romping through my mind and coming up with all sorts of scenarios for them.

On Editing

Editing is hard! I used to think writing the first draft of a novel or story was the hard part. While it's not easy, when I'm struggling with a scene I do have the piece of mind of knowing it's okay if it isn't perfect. I can fix it when I edit. And so with that in mind, I leave little [FIX THIS] notations throughout the manuscript and keep on going.

Then I finish the first draft.

I'm in that position right now with my current projects. When I wrote my first book ten years ago I didn't have to worry about editing it, but that wasn't because it was perfect. In fact, quite the opposite was true. After finishing the book and taking some time away from the project, I could see it with fresh eyes and those eyes told me the book had too many flaws. While some might have been depressed by that prospect, I don't regret having written that book. When reading it over I could see so clearly where I went wrong. Why the book was weak. I took heart from the fact that I could now see those faults.

My second finished book was my first NaNoWriMo book. There was a lot wrong with the book, but there was also a lot right with it. Given that I decided to do NaNoWriMo only the day before it started, and that I wrote that book without an outline, I'm very happy with the main story arc. It took me a while to figure out how I could fix the book, though, and when I did I was already working on my third book. Rather than stop the momentum on the new book, I decided to keep going and to come back to my second book at another time. That book will require some major rewriting, but it is fixable.

But my third book ... well, I am very happy with this book and very excited about it. I believe it's important to take a little time away from a project after the first draft is finished. It is much easier to look at your own writing critically and to see its flaws when you come to it with fresh eyes, so I took one month away from that book and wrote a shorter story. Like my book, I'm very happy with how this story turned out. I'm editing it now and plan to submit it by the end of January. At that time I'll also delve into the edits for book #3, which will be the first book I will try to have published.

Which takes me back to the sentiment I expressed above - editing is hard! There is no hiding from awkward prose when you edit. No hiding from characterization that falls flat. It is exacting, often intimidating work. But my god, when you get it right the feeling is amazing!

And so I press on.

Moving forward

I've been writing for a number of years now, but never in a consistent manner. My first attempt at a book, written over ten years ago, was very obviously a first attempt, but I learned so much from the whole process. I was sidetracked by life for a while and put my writing on the back burner, but I never gave up on it entirely. I've done three NaNoWriMos now (winning two of them) and have even posted some of my writing online. I never pushed myself to pursue my dream, though, of becoming a published author.

And you know what? That's okay. I used to beat myself up about wasted time, but I'm not going to do that this year. Concentrating on all the what-ifs is always a waste of time. The most important thing is that I am now on the right path. I've rededicated myself to my writing and this time I will not be sidetracked.

To everyone out there who feels badly about having wasted the past week, month, year, decade ... I just want to say it's okay. Forgive yourself, pick yourself up, rededicate yourself and move forward.

I wish everyone a happy and healthy 2010. A year filled with self-forgiveness and renewed energy ... whatever your dream may be.